I broke a promise
I left you
on the ledge
you brought your trauma
I turned
and then I fled


and it may have
not been the bravest thing
and it may have
not been the strongest thing
but it seems to have been
the smarter thing
to do

I betrayed a trust
I left her
on the bed
you cried your honest
tears I lied
and then I sped away

and it may have
not been the bravest thing
and it may have
not been the strongest thing
you maybe
might think less of me
if you knew

I was dishonest
I told you
I wasn't on the edge
you let your guard down
I tore you down to shreds

and it may have
not been the nicest thing
and it may have been
quite a selfish thing
but I didn't say that
I would do anything
less

You fell into a rut
Your spring had been sprung
Your clocks all run down
Feet keep flailing around
As you’re trying to run

And the stark messy sky
in your kaleidoscope mind
Keeps on whirling away
A dervish a day
And you wonder why

The sun won’t come up
The teardrops won’t come
The stars won’t go down
But they huddle around
Asking you for the time

A future commandeered
A feeling cantilevered
Until it wears out
Until it falls down
We all come around
We’re stuck in this town

We can’t escape
To a time or place
Where I can’t see your face
And you can’t see mine

think it's about that time
that I be leaving her
seems I've crossed a line
that we didn't even know was there
I can't forget her eyes
and that makes you sad
I can't pretend I'm wise
why won't it all go away
when I'm sitting on the shore
looking out all the waves
part of me tries to jump in
and part of me walks away
I think I should go back home
if only i knew
where that would be where it would lead
if only I had a clue
I could go line by line
but, they're all recited by you
if i could buy more time
if i could make it work
don't you think that I
would have tried that first
if you meet me at the shore
could you teach me how to breathe
when all around me is the water
and the sand on my feet
would you leave me at the beach
to go back to your depths
would you have me standing here
contemplating little else

For Amber

He doesn't think
about the damage as
he wraps
constellations
round your head
not thinking about
the gravity
of the situation
you can't go round
with your head full
of stars and tears
and the playing of
endless games
he just is out
for a look round
a trip down
from Alpha Centauri
and back
relatively speaking
an orbital visitor
waiting for collision

I reclaimed
in a dream
a time lost memory
of the smile
you gave
when you first surrounded me
warm and wet
like June rain
the sparkle
when our eyes met
you laughed and said
Why, hello.
I smirked and managed
a reply.
You shifted your hips
sighed out Oh.
and I think that's
when I lost my mind

The simple curve
of bodies twined
the simple times
we left behind
we made love
underneath the bridge
not caring
for anything but this
we rushed along
so unaware
of consequence
in the midnight air
I smoked a cigarette
you laughed once more
we didn't contemplate
evening the score
the daylight came
washed away our years
the daylight came
birds trilled a melody
we our fears
behind us
we realized
what love was
how insubstantially
small we seem
looking back now
from memory
I wonder where you are
where you sleep tonight
the things you think of
before out go the lights
do you think
of the way we were
of the bridge
and the morning birds

It has been too long

I'm perplexed by the feeling of bitterness
on the eve of seeing you tomorrow
it has been too long since I've seen you
since before she died
I am afraid
that I will see the afterimages of her in your face
that I will lose my composure
which is odd since of us all
you look the least like how she looked
I am afraid
to see you tomorrow
yet happy
it has been too long
too too long since we have been brothers
instead of time lost strangers
I am so glad to know you will be near
and sad that I will not be alone anymore

Paper Flowers

Coming home and coming round

from a fugue

i’m awakened from a reverie

covered in blanket mummification

constricted by the weight

of ocean

of reptile death

of family

covered like the humidity

that comes off your body

pressed against me

your kiss too hard for breath

i remember summers and swimming

lovemaking beneath god and man

the old town center and holding hands

crushed by the weight of calendar pages

pressed to paper flower thickness

i recall our last times sweetly

bitterly

hardly at all

Why you looking down lovely
is it cause it hurts to look up at the sky
with the sunlight so bright
the colors so vibrant
the sky so vast and vacant
or cause the world below is of
much more interest
can I walk and look with you at the ground
will you show me why it seems we can't connect
is it cause my feet aren't touching the ground
my head in the clouds
I can't focus on the blades of grass
or the mounds of dirt
maybe we can meet at the horizon
if we just keep walking

I have not seen the colour of your eyes

I have not seen the colour of your eyes
too long it has been
yet everyday I see your picture
on the screen of the window
to the world
too long
I have not heard your voice
but I speak to you everyday
on the screen that connects us all
so long has it been since I felt your touch
or your breath upon my neck
but it seems only a matter of time
until technology fixes that too

symphony of two

The long straight plateau of your score
stretches out in front of me
while hips work a fervent rhythm
in time to internal orchestration
a symphony of two
the hard shift of fast breaths
punctuated by the snare taut cries and sighs
of salacious slippery slides
up and down the octaves
heading for the bridge of chorus and verse
the junction of bawdy and verve
crescendos piling on each other
with cymbal crash punctuations
building an anticipation
an emancipation
dedication
of transitive mirth

sitting on the edge of the bed
looking at each other
holding hands
radio playing in the background
the air around us snaps with anticipatory sizzles
eyes, fingers, grazing
barely touching lips to
mouth neck chest
losing definition
inside each little particularity
every little singularity
each half moan
and whisper
every sharp intake
brushstroke of
foudations for evenings not yet spent
in love and sweat
steam and adoration

along a dirt road casting shadows
long with bloated summer
sky bluer than i've ever seen
like unreality broken through
like the paint you use
your hand in mine we walk
in two days your shoulders
will be peeling
replacing the old with the new
your skin is on my sheets
and mine under your nails
as the season invades us
there's only so much to take off
before you're laid bare

dancing a tango upon the heads of pins
my hand placed where your back meets hip
guiding us through the twists and turns
not knowing this beat we follow
or where it ends or begins
we dance all night and retire
to dance again
in smoke filled hazes
long drawn out gazes
twisting turning mazes
of rose petals
where backs meet hips

tendrils fall across your face
plastered there by sweat
your lips taste lovely
like saltwater and strawberry's
like night by the ocean
i am covered by your hair
a waterfall of auburn
shampoo sex
straddling me
raining kisses
soft sweet like springtime
skin pressed to fire
branding me
leaving your mark forever

leaving traces in my mind
the lines written on your back
crisscrossing like a map
of a confused and beautiful city
words wrapping over your hips
your smile holds more than meaning
beneath your emerald gaze
i work in plum and cherry
strawberry and sweat
brushes tickling teasing
titillating tips of twilight tracery
pictures in my mind
memory being what it is
will likely fade away
but not before again
I find a canvas
rose and hewn
all at once remarkable

Like a New York real estate agent
I've shown too many rooms of my heart
desperate like a boxer in the late rounds
punch drunk and out of options
corner of my mind trying to throw in the towel
I've left myself open
to interpretation and examination
beauty in the eye of the beholder
why can't you be holding me
til after the end times
til the whole world melts away
will i still be wondering
why you had to leave

i know i come off too strongly
too directly spouting the colors of my mind
rain gutter runoff of insecurity
forming oil slick kaliedoscopes
unfortunately i've covered your ducks
with my row of shit
my own crude fumbling in the dark
knocking over your pottery and I'm
wandering and you're lights out
the best thing that i've ever seen and i'm
wondering what you could ever see
in me

Lasting rays of summer evening
Streaks of red and purple
Meet the waters edge
you were standing
In a blue jean skirt
As the breeze from the ocean
Ruffled your hair like a parent
Waves caressing your feet
Washing the brown sand from them
You were looking at the horizon
The ships passing at sea
Little specks against the gumdrop sky
I was skipping rocks off the waves
You came over and held my hand
And we sat on the sand
Watching the day fade

Seasons fade
Gently spring to summers wrath
Falls cool embrace to winters death
For this we trade
Permanence, Solidity, Temperance
For
Vibrancy, Variety, Vicissitude
The house in Kansas
For the yellow brick road
Even if we have to step
On the which is here
To get there
To face our lions
Follow our paths
Find our cities
Made of emerald glass
Step on rainbows
Wonder why
Diamonds rarely fall
From the sky
Ah yet seasons won't stop their cycle
Years pass from days
Time our closest friend
Even she betrays
In the end
Our adventures done
There must come
An end of one