I broke a promise
I left you
on the ledge
you brought your trauma
I turned
and then I fled


and it may have
not been the bravest thing
and it may have
not been the strongest thing
but it seems to have been
the smarter thing
to do

I betrayed a trust
I left her
on the bed
you cried your honest
tears I lied
and then I sped away

and it may have
not been the bravest thing
and it may have
not been the strongest thing
you maybe
might think less of me
if you knew

I was dishonest
I told you
I wasn't on the edge
you let your guard down
I tore you down to shreds

and it may have
not been the nicest thing
and it may have been
quite a selfish thing
but I didn't say that
I would do anything
less

You fell into a rut
Your spring had been sprung
Your clocks all run down
Feet keep flailing around
As you’re trying to run

And the stark messy sky
in your kaleidoscope mind
Keeps on whirling away
A dervish a day
And you wonder why

The sun won’t come up
The teardrops won’t come
The stars won’t go down
But they huddle around
Asking you for the time

A future commandeered
A feeling cantilevered
Until it wears out
Until it falls down
We all come around
We’re stuck in this town

We can’t escape
To a time or place
Where I can’t see your face
And you can’t see mine

think it's about that time
that I be leaving her
seems I've crossed a line
that we didn't even know was there
I can't forget her eyes
and that makes you sad
I can't pretend I'm wise
why won't it all go away
when I'm sitting on the shore
looking out all the waves
part of me tries to jump in
and part of me walks away
I think I should go back home
if only i knew
where that would be where it would lead
if only I had a clue
I could go line by line
but, they're all recited by you
if i could buy more time
if i could make it work
don't you think that I
would have tried that first
if you meet me at the shore
could you teach me how to breathe
when all around me is the water
and the sand on my feet
would you leave me at the beach
to go back to your depths
would you have me standing here
contemplating little else

draft for kevin

First verse:


I don't want to lose myself in you
I can't stand it, I've got too much to lose
waiting on a resolution
fixing for a new condition
I can't make myself let go of you

second verse:

tornado turning round inside my head
all I think, all I feel, all seems like lead
when did things get so tired
why'd I turn into a liar
Couldn't just keep things in the end

chorus?

and the waiting is the hardest part
next to your smiles
the waiting is the saddest part
makes me want to

tear right into you
leave you drown
break right through to you
spin you round
can't do that to you
wouldn't be fair
even though you
left me there

For Amber

He doesn't think
about the damage as
he wraps
constellations
round your head
not thinking about
the gravity
of the situation
you can't go round
with your head full
of stars and tears
and the playing of
endless games
he just is out
for a look round
a trip down
from Alpha Centauri
and back
relatively speaking
an orbital visitor
waiting for collision

I reclaimed
in a dream
a time lost memory
of the smile
you gave
when you first surrounded me
warm and wet
like June rain
the sparkle
when our eyes met
you laughed and said
Why, hello.
I smirked and managed
a reply.
You shifted your hips
sighed out Oh.
and I think that's
when I lost my mind

The simple curve
of bodies twined
the simple times
we left behind
we made love
underneath the bridge
not caring
for anything but this
we rushed along
so unaware
of consequence
in the midnight air
I smoked a cigarette
you laughed once more
we didn't contemplate
evening the score
the daylight came
washed away our years
the daylight came
birds trilled a melody
we our fears
behind us
we realized
what love was
how insubstantially
small we seem
looking back now
from memory
I wonder where you are
where you sleep tonight
the things you think of
before out go the lights
do you think
of the way we were
of the bridge
and the morning birds

It has been too long

I'm perplexed by the feeling of bitterness
on the eve of seeing you tomorrow
it has been too long since I've seen you
since before she died
I am afraid
that I will see the afterimages of her in your face
that I will lose my composure
which is odd since of us all
you look the least like how she looked
I am afraid
to see you tomorrow
yet happy
it has been too long
too too long since we have been brothers
instead of time lost strangers
I am so glad to know you will be near
and sad that I will not be alone anymore

Paper Flowers

Coming home and coming round

from a fugue

i’m awakened from a reverie

covered in blanket mummification

constricted by the weight

of ocean

of reptile death

of family

covered like the humidity

that comes off your body

pressed against me

your kiss too hard for breath

i remember summers and swimming

lovemaking beneath god and man

the old town center and holding hands

crushed by the weight of calendar pages

pressed to paper flower thickness

i recall our last times sweetly

bitterly

hardly at all